#52: poetry slams and EMDR therapy
I did my first poetry slam this month!
I performed this poem in front of ~50 people:
And got this awesome photo from a friend:
It was a fun experience but feels a little like when I started training for a 5k. Two days into a 3-month training program, I ended up running that full distance with a run club because there was free coffee at the end.
Like, cool! That was fun but now it’s done! I did the thing. I don’t feel any particular need to get better or try different approaches or do the same thing in different places. What else is out there to try?
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The last week has been pretty rough.
I think things in my life are objectively going well. I play a lot of sports, I spend hours each day outside, it feels like I’m making progress with work, I see friends often. I’m doing creative work, I’m reading, I’m spending time with my family.
But I don’t really feel excited about much.
I go through each day doing the things I’m supposed to, then I go to sleep and do them all again the next day.
And nothing really changes. But I keep doing them because they’re what you’re supposed to do.
Physical activity. Friends. Sunshine. Creative. Active. Hobbies. Cooking. Volunteering.
If that’s not fun, what is?
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I was talking to my coach about some of the things I’m struggling with. Fears that felt pretty simple to me and that I was pretty sure I should have been able to talk myself through.
Like if I were a little stronger or more persistent or smarter, I’d be able to understand and unknot them. It was just a failing on my part, and that failing left my nervous system locked up.
He suggested that this state of activation sounded more trauma-based (lol) and mentioned EMDR therapy as something to look into.
EMDR is pretty new (first introduced in 1989) and it relies on bilateral stimulation, where you move your eyes back and forth in a specific way. No one understands why it works, but one theory is that it mimics the way your eyes move during REM sleep. The movement slows down activity in the overactive amygdala, letting it sync with the rest of the brain. It helps to process stuck memories, which is what happens when we dream.
(Read more here if you’re curious)
So it sounds really interesting!
For some people it works a lot more quickly and effectively than talk therapy. I’m always curious about therapeutic approaches that work with the body, not just the mind. I think there’s so much there that’s fascinating and unexplored.
I’ve reached out to a few therapists who practice EMDR and I’m excited to see what happens.
If you’ve ever tried EMDR therapy or have stories from friends, send me an email! So curious what people have experienced.
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Here’s Gemmy letting me cuddle with her:
✨
Warmly yours,
Nina
P.S. 32 days after my first solo bike ride, I’ve hit 500km on the bike. That’s almost the distance from Toronto to Montreal!
Well done on the poetry slam! Cool pic btw ⭐️
There is one line that said - you’re doing all the things because they are there to do and not feeling excited but you still do them. My take on this is that it’s perfectly fine, that’s how it is supposed to be. You’re achieving an equanimity state, very few ppl are able to do that.